Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
