I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Randomize
