apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
