yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
