Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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