So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I skipped work to stalk him.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
