What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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