You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
