i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
They took my balls.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
