Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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