The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
