we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I think your dad took our porno
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I know her cup size but not her name....
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