I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
