yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she pinky promised me she was 18
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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