Screwed.edu
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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