Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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