Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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