There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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