I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
