I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
