my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
