At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
so much tequila, so little girl.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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