She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
