he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
