smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
