how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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