i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
