my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So vagazzling was a success
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
