I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
