She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
