i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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