His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
