If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
