Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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