Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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