How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
