Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
