Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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