So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
