if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
