Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
