What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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