just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
