If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
