My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize