The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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