Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
