He is such a slut. More and more my type.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
