Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
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