Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
